Taking a Moment to Enjoy Small Things or I Was a Sad Crazy Bitch Lady Yesterday and Today Will Be Better

Yesterday was ugly for me. I was sad and angry. I was stressed and hurt. So today I am going to take a minute to think and be grateful for things that make me happy.

  1. I am grateful for pink blooms on trees that litter the ground after a storm. That shit is pretty.
  2. The trees at the health department are starting to bud. I will forever find it funny that the trees there can give me such joy. Beautiful trees, vaccinations for children, and STD tests: That place has everything.
  3. Blue Candy. I think it is safe to say that blue candies are the best, and while I understand “blue coconut” may not be a real flavor it is still the best. I know this to be true because there are far less of them in any bag of candy. The manufactures know and are holding out on us.
  4. Diet Coke. Let me make this clear I do not drink Diet Coke to take off pounds. I do not drink it to counter act my calorie intake. I know it rots your insides, but damn if it doesn’t have a great chemical burn.
  5. The color gray.
  6. Wearing brown and black together. Social norms be damned I think it is fine.
  7. My sister and I when we find someone or something that bugs us and we than become consumed by it.
  8. Wax cubes of smells are the greatest invention ever.
  9. Low rumbly thunder.
  10. Adding to my collection of clothes I wish I had on Pinterest. I would be so put together if I lived in that Pinterest board.
  11. The “Ask a Mortician” series on YouTube is the gift I will leave you with. I am Oprah like that. Go to that link and take on the greatness. Go.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTCg6PGaOkM

Things I Know Today (2/13/2014)

  1. It isn’t normal for worry to make you shit your pants.
  2. Everyone has pooped their pants or will, but they don’t talk about it.
  3. Being nice is better than being mean.
  4. Sometimes, being mean seems like the better option.
  5. I am sick of snow.
  6. My scarf is oddly fluffy.
  7. It should be considered totally normal to walk around talking to yourself as long as you aren’t talking about aliens or guns.
  8. My mom once gave me a copy of “Alien Autopsy” as a gift.
  9. If smelling a baby doesn’t lower your blood pressure you need to cuddle a puppy.
  10. I hate feeling like a failure.
  11. I am not a failure.
  12. If after you have smelled a baby and cuddled a puppy you still feel awful I would suggest going to TJ Maxx.

Things I Believe Today

I believe that overall people are good and kind.

I believe that staring at a sleeping child can lower your blood pressure.

I believe in smiling at strangers and making eye contact.

I believe this is because I am from Kentucky and not New York.

I believe that having the perfect pillow can make all the difference in how you sleep.

I believe in wearing an undershirt beneath tee shirts.

I believe that the punch people serve at baby showers should be served every Tuesday as a little pick me up.

I believe that my legs are the driest things in the world right now.

I believe that people who like Elvis Costello look good in hats.

I believe in the power of prayer and good thoughts.

I believe that I will never have a haircut that fits my personality.

I believe that I am pretty.

I believe that I am sometimes hideous as well.

I believe that if I was only allowed to listen to one album for the rest of my life it would be Blast Tyrant by Clutch.

I believe this because the lyrics are nonsensical and I could spend hours trying to figure it out.

I believe that a man with a beard is sexy.

I believe that the news wants you to be scared.

I believe this because of the amount of Florida sinkhole stories.

I believe in being kind even when it is really hard to do so.

I believe that I fail at this every day.

I believe that I will eat way too much tomorrow.

I believe that black Friday shopping is crazy.

I believe this because I get nervous around people.

I believe that about ten people are going to read this.

I believe that I am grateful for those ten.

I believe everyone should own orange shoes.

 

Frustrated: A List

 Here is a list of things that currently frustrate me.

  1. The timing that some people have is questionable at best.
  2. Rape – the world is too damn rapey
  3. My house will never be clean again.
  4. I need at least three clones of myself, and science has not caught up with my needs.
  5. Laundry
  6. I don’t like the show Girls and I feel like I should
  7. Work
  8. An article I read where wealthy people are hiring disabled people to get through lines quicker at Disney World.
  9. OJ Simpson
  10. That giant rubber duck in Hong Kong.